I would like to start this blog in the words of the great Lil Scrappy ”OH KAY KAY KAY” this radio show, The XXX Page Project is whack. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Quit playin, you haven’t. ARGH! This has been a disaster, one friday after another! But this week is show 4 or 5 or whatever. See??? I should know that. I just cringe at the idea of putting out entertainment whether it be web radio or porn that is not great or atleast meeting my standards. Nowwwwwwww I can tend to me a little hard on myself but thats only when I’m not being the best most perfect individual who ever existed. Ya know, just some reasonable self criticism that would break the psyche of even the strongest mind…so I guess, like Chris Angel MIND FREAK’s mind? He would be left in the fetal position sucking his thumb if he walked around with my mind for a day. Not because I am twisted and think weirdo shit,well not all the time but I may dabble through out the day, I mean, how does tubgirl get that stream so perfectly into her mouth and now that’s a Kraft cheese slice mask on her face or what? This constant demand of BETTER FASTER HADER STRONGER is quite taxing on the body and soul, let alone the mind. So I’m sure your thinking, “Courtney don’t be so hard on yourself!” AHHH, its easier said than done! I cant just stop or “take it easy” on myself because then what would my mind be occupied with? What thoughts would fill my head all day to replace the ones telling me to do this and to rethink that and maybe redo or edit that? That’s all I think about all day. Its like my brain is doing busy work all day to make sure I am constantly questioning EVERYTHING. Which is good in the sense that I don’t half ass anything, except cleaning…..
I hate to clean! I have hard wood floors and don’t own a single rug because I know I would sweep all my dirt underneath. Clean to me has been an “out of sight out of mind” type cleaning. If I just take all that junk and put it in a cabinet or cupboard and close it, usually force it closed, its clean! In high school when I had to start cleaning my own room myself the task seemed so daunting. So just like I learned how to get out of brushing my teeth before bed when I was a little kid (toothbrush under the faucet and put back) I found that if I just shoved everything under the bed, in dressers and the closet I could present a clean, seemingly organized living space to my mom when she would come check. But like the toothbrush thing, I was soon exposed of my “short cuts”. Cavities at every single dentist check up hurt my scheme….So now, what was ” Court clean your room” was now “Court clean your room, and don’t shove it all in the closet!” I mean, I feel I am getting off topic here but that room shit is why I am not the lady on Hoarders with the dead pets just lost among the muck. I was given structure to how I should be cleaning my room. Distraction is easier to fend of when I have a plan outlined. Stick to the plan and there isn’t much time to question myself because that section is done, on to the next and the next and then eventually it’s done. If that makes sense…..what I’m saying is second guessing yourself has its pros and cons, pro: I filter out the garbage ideas, con: I throw away some good ones. I think its my restlessness. I come up with this great show beginning of the week so when Friday rolls around I hate all that shit I created before, its stale, boring, to me.
I don’t want anymore “The XXX Page half-ass Project” unless its like some porn where I have such a big butt, I am half ass, half rest of my body…..hmm…..but LATER, COURTNEY!!! LATER!!!! First this. Obnoxious porn ideas after.
My show needs structure, an outline, or plan. Routine is an ADDer’s best friend. So this is how I will be presenting my show. WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY. Five questions for me to work on five days a week. Monday is a WHO day. Tuesday is a WHAT day. Wednesday is a WHERE day. Thursday is WHEN day. Friday is WHY day. This way I have something to work on everyday and don’t have time to dissect what I came up yesterday because I have a whole day of dissecting a different word, question,topic, whatever. SHaring my answers to each on Friday.
So, for me this is my project, to see if I can start something and finish it. And for you, its entertaining, I hope.
Alright then, I am off to work on “WHAT” since it’s Tuesday.
Listen to The XXX Page Project at midnight on Friday
God, the withdrawls! AHHHHHH!
Sitting here making fun of my own “twitter-addiction” on twitter, I thought “they would ween addicts off gently with facebook and then instant messenger etc.” and I realized I think in tweet form! Each thought is the next tweet. I even edit it in my head to fit the inhumanely limit # of 140 characters. Throughout the day in conversation I will say “oh thats a tweet!” and stop what I’m doing to either tweet it or write it down so I remember to tweet it later. And you can forget that convo getting finished, whatever it was about is totally lost….. cuz now I’m twittered up. Just riding it til the next tweet-high! Checking for replies is me tapping my arms for veins. Yikes! So I think I am going to do a bit of twitter (and anything connected or synced up with) detox. I could use the cleanse. COLD TURKEY seems abit much, but I wont tweet for the rest of the week. Im going to allow myself to check for friend requests on facebook only! I think posting youtube videos is ok. BABY STEPS,people! BABY STEPS!
………I’m scared!
Tune into The XXX Page Project, Friday at midnight when I finally get to tweet again! I’ll be tweeting live along with the show, tweeting my freaking ass off I bet. BET? Oh no am I off to my next addiction. Who knows but you should tune in Friday, see if I made it!
OK, I’m off to the dog track, oops, I mean dogpark. With Henry, my dog, you know Henry. Henry Waffles, yeah that guy. Wow, my neck is itchy……
The XXX Page Project can be listened to on the Wedge Network Fridays at midnight
Courtney Page Says Shes Retiring From Porn
2 tkf19999 asked: What was on the list of topics to avoid making your mom puke?
DIRTY FINGERNAILS
fckingtheworld asked: im following now can you follow back . you mad prettty btw
ok i am going to follow back, dont hit on me.
fckingtheworld asked: how can we talk more :]
TWITTER!
thirst-quenchin asked: <3
right back atcha :)
I think I may have finally found my fetish…….
I am quite the smitten kitten with someone. I mean, this just completely does it for me. WOW! I’m blushing just writing this right now….and I mean blushing down there! Wait. Can vagina’s blush? Well mine does! Now I haven’t ever met him. I actually probably wont even EVER meet him and he only lives like an hour away from me, or something like that. But I wanna have like a 100 of his babies, marriage, the growing old together bit, all of it. And then in the afterlife when its time for me to go up to heaven if by some fluke I dont actually have that back booth reserved in hell…with bottle service ofcourse. I’m gonna say no thanks Lord, I think I’ll go kick it “downstairs” (he’s Athiest)…. Yep. I am going to do all this. Now I know you’re thinking “Courtney, why so fatal attraction on this person? You sound foolish! You are out of control!!!! It’s obnoxious, all this”.OR maybe you’re thinking “Why am I still reading this ridiculous blog still?” And to both I say “Oh wait. There’s more!” I want all this cliche shit…. with just his voice, not the actual human being. Just his utterance. Thats it.
I called him the other night and asked him to make me a mixtape of him just saying random words, reading the news, whatever,so i could use it when I have my, um, private time. And hey maybe if I cant get the old girl wet when I bring home a gentlemen caller I could pop this tape in and BINGO “we have lift off”…or in my case “we have arrived at Niagra Falls!”
Is this what it feels like for people with a foot fetish? Do I have a voice fetish? Is that even a thing?
And the strange gets stranger…….
www.twitter.com/xxxpage -Dont forget to follow me!
5 Factory Girl - Andy Warhol & Edie Sedgwick (by PrudenceNeverPays1)
